"We Knights value individuality. We are a gathering of individuals, and we do not unite. But I want to believe that through the experience we’ve gained from many, many battles, we have formed a bond between us. I want to believe we’ve become comrades with the same will. No, that we have become like a family."
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 03:29 (UTC)[ . . . ]
And I do not just mean reputations. I mean real threats to a person's livelihood.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 03:50 (UTC)...I'm sorry, Cres. Sorry you have to deal with someone taking over just to screw with you like that. And I'm sorry about your cousin.
Do you know why they went after your unit?
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 04:04 (UTC)I am not sure that other units did not also receive dire threats. But ours made it near impossible to win. Perhaps because we are considered one of the 'Big Three'?
[He sighs heavily.]
I thought if we just... rented a stage and only allowed our known fans inside, we could perform non-stop for a few days while switching out our performers.
. . . If we did that, no one could threaten to duel us, and we would continue to garner points.
[A harder shake of his head.]
But that was when my cousin's unit appeared. It seemed that... even though I had tried to rush to their aid, they had been working with the Gatekeeper the entire time. They humiliated us. I feel so ashamed. My unit trusted me, and yet... I could not, no matter what, allow us to duel even in the face of shame and embarrassment.
[Even though it was his cousin's unit betraying them.]
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 04:15 (UTC)[ Leans forward, elbows resting on the table ]
Have you talked to your cousin about it here?
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 04:25 (UTC)[His eyebrows crease and he shakes his head.]
As for my cousin... I am not ready to yet. Him, above everyone else... I do not want him to see how badly this has affected me. My chest still hurts so much that I wish I could just make it cease.
[They said his cousin knew nothing about the betrayal. But... he doesn't know. He had put all of his faith in him. If he cannot trust his best friend... his very family, then who in the world can he hope to trust?]
I just... feel so foolish. Like a naked king who happily danced and sang without ever realizing the truth of the situation, despite everyone else knowing better.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 04:32 (UTC)Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 04:53 (UTC)[ . . . ]
Perhaps that sounds foolish. For us, it is not, though. My cousin's role in the family is to protect me. The branch family has always protected the main family. I never thought it would be possible that he would betray me.
. . . I was so busy trying to protect him, that I was blindsided in the end.
I just... I suppose, deep down, I always thought that good would, somehow in the end, always beget good.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-14 21:47 (UTC)[ Picks up a cookie to break a smaller piece off, fidgeting with it over the plate instead of actually eating ]
...This is why I worry about you. You get so confident that everything will go how you think it should just because you want it to.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-17 14:45 (UTC)[ . . . ]
Besides. The experience with my cousin has proven me wrong anyway.
I know better now.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-18 02:23 (UTC)So you don't think you could be wrong a second time?
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-18 02:28 (UTC)No. I could be wrong again. There is always that possibility.
[He is sure he will make mistakes in the future. Everyone does.]
But I just... will not be as likely to trust someone again. Even if they are a friend. Even if they are family.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-18 02:37 (UTC)Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-18 03:03 (UTC)[Which just makes him a little sad.]
I do not wish to be betrayed like that again. I never wanted to disappear completely so badly in my life.
Re: Day 71
Date: 2024-04-19 23:01 (UTC)[ Hesitates, breaking another piece of cookie off to fidget with, slowly creating a little pile of crumbs ]
I really want to say I realized I was wrong, but I dunno if that's true. Maybe I just got used to the feeling. ... But I still don't want you to live with that feeling.
Are you sure you shouldn't talk to your cousin before you decide how to feel? What if he was under a messed up order too?